Rotting Reviews: That Huge Spliff Was Awesome, but I’m Still Not Quite Sure What Jack Did

Somebody throw me a bone here, because I’m still feeling a bit dazed and confused after this.

By The Rotting Corpse

The Rotting Corpse is a weekly satire column dedicated to poking fun at our many horror favorites. For daily horror news and updates, be sure to check out the Dead Entertainment home page.

I’m finally able to write this review after completely venting the smoke from my office, but I’m sadly still at a loss as to what exactly Jack did in David Lynch’s latest film, What Did Jack Do? One thing is for certain, though: that spliff I lit up a few hours ago and smoked was damn smooth. Almost too good. Woo!

For some reason, I’m still seeing multiple mouths talking out of the surrounding walls, all of which are speaking in Lynch’s voice and demanding to know the answers to strange questions. Why must he know about the mating rituals of the orangutan, or how many hair strands are on my ballsack? I’m just sitting here minding my own business, drinking a decaf coffee and hoping to unwind from that sweet spliff I smoked earlier. No such luck.

Basically, this short film is about Lynch investigating a murder by way of interviewing a monkey named Jack, whom he suspects is the culprit. Maybe something significant happened, but I was snacking on a big bag of crispy Tostitos for most of this, rendering the dialogue almost entirely drowned out by the sounds of crunching chips.

What Did Jack Do? might be the greatest film since Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, but I wouldn’t know that from all the bizarre imagery I saw on my television screen. The monkey with a human mouth layered on top of it is one such instance. I mean, what the hell is going on here and why did my brain suddenly conjure up such an obscenity?

What really convinced me of the fact that I might be high as fuck was seeing this monkey dressed in a business suit and keeping a straight face throughout this whole absurd interrogation. How can any monkey not burst into an uncontrollable laughing fit while sitting there and having some boomer asking it questions? Did Lynch really expect this monkey to communicate with him using human languages? It was at that moment I knew the spliff must have taken hold of me.

If I just went with something less potent, this might have been a more representative review of What Did Jack Do? Since there is little interest in seeing this short ever again, perhaps someone can tell me what Jack did down below? Thanks.